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diff --git a/memos/WM-018.txt b/memos/WM-018.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..594e2d9 --- /dev/null +++ b/memos/WM-018.txt @@ -0,0 +1,312 @@ + + + + + + + +Document: WM-018 P. Webb +Category: Life 2017.10.29 + + How I met my wife + +Abstract + + Somehow, I got lucky + +Body + + I was your typical (angsty) teenager. Like most people, I was trying + to find my voice, trying to find what made me unique, and how I could + use that to become popular…needless to say I failed. Once, *for some + reason*, I decided to ask one of the most popular girls in school on + a date, instead of *my actual crush* (who was friends with her). + That's a dumb story for another day. + + 1. Classface + + In 2002, 14 was my age when a friend of mine called (remember when + this happened?) to pester me about joining an "exciting" new + social network called, *Classface*. I'll paraphrase the + conversation here: + + Cleo: OMG Paul, you need to join this site. It's hella dope. + + Me: *Uh-huh*. What site? + + Cleo: It's called Classface and-- + + Me: (mumbling) That sounds dumb. + + Cleo: --you get to meet people from around the *world*! + + Me: I don't even like people *near* me, why the hell would I + like people *far away*? + + Cleo: JUST JOIN IT NIGGA. + + With a heavy sigh I typed www.classface.com[1] into Internet + Explorer (yes, seriously) and was greeted with basic, sparse web + design reminiscent of the era. + + 📸[In due time, I would love seeing this everyday][IMG1] + + Back then, no one thought about the need for private profiles. + After all, wouldn't you *want* people to find you? I spent a + couple minutes looking at random profiles until I saw a face that + took me aback. Here was this girl from Phenix City, Alabama (what + the hell is "Phenix", I thought at the time, shouldn't it be + "Phoenix"?) and she had such a genuinely happy smile. "Keisha + Page", I thought to myself, "I like that name". She was *fiiiiine* + as hell too! I hovered over whatever button to get to the next + random profile while having an internal discussion with myself. + + Lame Voice: Wowee, who the hell is THAT? + + Cooler Voice: Your future girl bro! + + Lame Voice: Nah, that'd never happen. + + Cooler Voice: Not with that attitude! Just say hi. + + Lame Voice: Really? No way man, I'm nervous. + + Cooler Voice: You can't be a bitch *all* your life. You can't even + tell Shawna you like her, you can at least tell a + girl who lives THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY that she + looks cute. She realize you a scrub? Delete + your account! + + And so, that's what I did! I scoured her profile for an opener and + saw that she was a fan of Degrassi (the Drake era). I believe I + wrote something along the lines of: + + > Hey, I just joined this site and I just happened to find your + > page. I wanted to let you know that you have a pretty smile + > anyhoo did you see what Skinner did to Marco last week? What a + > bum, yeah, Jimmy should've said something to him. + + (For those who don't know, Drake's character was named Jimmy on + the show.) + + I anxiously awaited her reply and probably played Road Rash on a + Shockwave site to pass the time. To my delight, she thanked me and + our friendship flourished thanks to our shared interests. I'd like + to take a timeout to publicly thank Drake[2], Andrea Lewis[3] (my + favorite person on the show), and everyone else from Degrassi for + making this possible. + + Classface eventually became a lame place to be and it was their + fault. They had the *terrible* idea to redesign the site but with + no UX sense. No one knew where to go to do things you could do in + the original version and I believe they messed the site up *more* + trying to fix it. So, everyone moved to Myspace. + + 2. Myspace + + It was during this time that Keisha gave me her phone number + (holla!) and I heard her Southern accent for the first time and we + would talk for *hours* about how wack our parents were, dreams for + the future, and everything in-between. + + Years later, I would reminisce about those conversations and + create music. Here's a sampling of those tracks: + + [4][5] + + *Dusty Stars* is from Music from the Love Lounge, Vol. 01[6] (this + cuts off early for some reason, probably data corruption) and + *Remember When* is from Vol. 02[7]. I sometimes find music a + better conduit to express my thoughts than simply talking. + + Keisha and I got busy with our own lives and communicated less but + I would check her profile every couple months to see what was new. + At some point, I saw she was in a relationship with a guy I + instantly disliked and partly because I was being a hater. From + where I sat, thousands of miles away, it seemed like he wasn't + treating her right and her journal posts confirmed my suspicions. + When she uploaded a picture of herself with a baby on a beach, my + unspoken hopes were smashed. + + Welp. + + 3. Facebook + + Like with Classface, Myspace became lame and so everyone jumped to + Facebook. Keisha and I continued our random check-ins over the + years but it wasn't until October 2011 that we reconnected. Her + marriage to that *terrible* guy was over for quite some time but I + was just happy to converse as a friend. + + The following month, we became closer than I ever expected (or + hoped) and I had the bright idea to try and visit her for + Thanksgiving. She thought it was a fantastic idea so I begged my + mom to buy me roundtrip tickets to Jacksonville, FL…my mom is a + bit paranoid. Catfishing, abduction, and other crazy things happen + all the time so she wasn't super keen about the idea at first. She + made me promise to text her as soon as I landed (I forgot to do so + until the next morning and got a rather disgruntled phone call, + haha). Keisha and I were using Skype at this point and I was one + *thousand* per cent sure she was real. 😏 + + 4. Florida + + 📸[Me, after realizing what I got myself into][IMG2] + 📸[(Kinda) high-school sweethearts][IMG3] + + When Keisha greeted me at the airport, it was surreal. We both had + goofy grins on our faces and then hugged. Our immediate, + simultaneous remarks were: "OMG you're so tall/short!". LOL + + Luckily, her siblings and daughter liked me and we had a fun week + full of jokes (you gotta come prepared with some zingers 'round + these folks), fun, and of course…Thanksgiving. 😉 + + In fact, it was Thanksgiving Day that I asked/confirmed our + relationship status. *Pro tip:* if you're forgetful of dates like + I am, make sure anniversaries are on a date you *know* you won't + forget. BWAHAHAHA! + + Y'know those movies where a main character departs for a flight + and the other main character is super sad with tears in their eyes + but the first character wants to be strong for the second and + tries really hard to keep it together? Yeah, that was us when it + was time for me to head back to Boston. As soon as I turned away + from Keisha and entered the airport, I was + boo-hoo-Academy-Award-winning-actor-Viola-Davis crying. My. Tears. + Were. *Fugly*. I looked like my mom AND dad took turns beating my + ass for stealing cookies and smudging a wall they just painted + after mooning the elderly Polish woman next door. It was bad man. + My chest hurt. + + Some of my friends at the time thought I was crazy to date someone + on the other side of the country, and for a couple years at that! + Keisha and I would visit each other at least twice a year for + physical reminders of why we were together and spoke/texted nearly + every day and that nourished our emotional *and* mental needs. + + 5. Massachusetts + + With our generation, I've seen and continue to see posts on social + media where people are hella frustrated about relations̶h̶i̶p̶shits + they get into. The ratio of disappointment appears to be balanced. + I believe 90% of issues could be solved with communication. Notice + I didn't prefix the word "more". I don't think people communicate + at *all* anymore. Millenials would rather swipe left/right and + take pics or make statuses for likes that don't matter instead of + communicating for love that *does* matter…ooh, that'd make a great + post in of itself. + + Even though Keisha and I knew each other for 10 years, we still + had to learn *how* to live together. I was a guy in a two-bedroom + apartment with a long-distance girlfriend and when she moved in, I + suddenly had a three-year-old stepdaughter and couldn't fucking + swear all the time. And furniture. Oh my *gawd*, Keisha had so + much furniture. I had a desk…and a sad excuse for a bed. During + Keisha's first night living in Massachusetts, a speeding driver + knocked off the sideview mirror from her parked car (*pro tip:* + don't live on Main Street, side streets are better). + + I found that (gasp) Keisha could irritate me sometimes! I + irritated her *all* the time! There was a period in the first year + where everything could've gone up in smoke but we *communicated*. + My default way of dealing with things at the time was to shut down + and stew, have mock debates in my head. Little did I know, Keisha + does that on a regular basis and always had an immediate response + to everything I could possibly say. Hoo boy, I'm a pro now but + that was not a fun time. + + Compromise was something else I had to learn. I was resistant at + first but when faced with the prospect of losing her and an + adorable little girl who now saw me as "daddy" instead of "Paul", + I quickly learned to adjust. I'm not a perfect guy today, but I am + perfect for my family (or damn close to it). Don't hashtag, + retweet, or share "relationship goals"…just learn how to + compromise, communicate, and ensure your partner is on the same + page. Remember when your parents made you eat nasty things with + dinner? I would mix the nasty things with food I did like to get + them out the way so I could enjoy the rest of my meal. The same + thing applies to relationships; do the hard stuff now so you can + enjoy growing together later. + + 6. The Future + + I proposed to Keisha on Easter, earlier this year. Remember my pro + tip from earlier? BWAHAHAHA! + + 📸[Please ignore the fact that all of us are looking at ourselves and not the camera][IMG4] + + And now? We're married! As far as what's next…growth. Our focus is + creating an environment where our kids are nurtured, growing, and + happy. That means becoming homeowners so we REALLY own our own + space, and helping each other thrive in our fields. + + Keisha went from being a sailor in the Navy, waking up at the + bootycrack of dawn to work out, have 24-hour shifts for some thing + or other (idk, I'm a civilian) to becoming a stay-at-home-mom + because we don't trust anyone with our toddler until he learns how + to speak. We've been spooked by online videos of "caretakers" + smacking babies in the face and parents wondering why their child + has a fear of pillows. NOPE. 🖕🏾 + + Since our son's been born, Keisha has garnered a reputation in mom + groups as THE go-to person when you want a custom designed shirt, + poofy skirts, onesies, booties, and so on. I've designed logos for + her and provided my designer-y expertise on how to deal with + clients and she's flourishing! + + I'm a simple man, I just want world domination. + + It's amazing that two 14-year-old kids would connect on social + media in 2002, only to marry each other 15 years later. Paul Webb + and Lakeisha Page met online…Webb and Page met on a webpage. + WebbPage. See? That's some high-quality movie shit. 🕸 + + Extra + + This may sound completely fabricated to you, dear reader, but + Keisha and I lived in the *same* city and our fathers were + stationed at the *same* military base at the *same* time. + Clarksville, Tennessee was the city, Fort Campbell was the + military base, 1994-1997 was the time. Fort Campbell had "family + days" and there would be lots of kids playing together. I don't + remember any of the kids I saw/played with but it's quite possible + that we've seen each other back then. + + How weird is that? + + P.S. + + During one of Keisha's early visits to Massachusetts, I asked her + to appear on that year's release of Music from the Love Lounge. + It's a fitting end to a post like this, check it out (beats by + me)! 🕸 + + [8] + + P.P.S + + Here's my wife's post[9] about how we met! Did you know that she + found her dress at a thrift store and *completely* redesigned it? + She's craftier than a mofo! + + P.P.P.S + + 📸[I gotta say, we look DAYUM good][IMG5] + +References + + [1] <http://web.archive.org/web/20050830203010/http://www.classface.com:80> + [2] <https://twitter.com/drake> + [3] <https://twitter.com/missandrealewis> + [4] <https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=512177084/size=small/bgcol=010000/linkcol=c8af60/track=3614882051/transparent=true> + [5] <https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=955213907/size=small/bgcol=010000/linkcol=c8af60/track=918133906/transparent=true> + [6] <https://wibby.bandcamp.com/album/music-from-the-love-lounge-vol-01> + [7] <https://wibby.bandcamp.com/album/music-from-the-love-lounge-vol-02> + [8] <https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=4219807572/size=small/bgcol=010000/linkcol=c8af60/track=635396433/transparent=true> + [9] <http://sincerelyshantelle.com/blog/how-i-met-my-husband> + [IMG1] <https://🔥.pixels.wtf/blog/image/2017/how-i-met-my-wife-a.png> + [IMG2] <https://🔥.pixels.wtf/blog/image/2017/how-i-met-my-wife-b.jpg> + [IMG3] <https://🔥.pixels.wtf/blog/image/2017/how-i-met-my-wife-c.jpg> + [IMG4] <https://🔥.pixels.wtf/blog/image/2017/how-i-met-my-wife-d.jpg> + [IMG5] <https://🔥.pixels.wtf/blog/image/2017/how-i-met-my-wife-e.jpg> |