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diff --git a/memos/WM-075.txt b/memos/WM-075.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3e66df5 --- /dev/null +++ b/memos/WM-075.txt @@ -0,0 +1,119 @@ + + + + + + + +Document: WM-075 P. Webb +Category: Life 2025.09.28 + + Ikigai + +Abstract + + Discovering your reason for being + +Body + + A viral self‑improvement post landed in my wife’s Facebook feed last + week and the gist of it was, “use this prompt to set a goal for + yourself to work on in the following year and instruct the LLM to + assess your worldviews on said topic.” The LLM would ask clarifying + questions and if your response was limiting, challenge the user + further. The comments of the post were rather positive so I figured + I’d use the latest Claude model (Opus 4.1) to do the same. + + I can take feedback reasonably well but Claude was rude as hell for + some reason. I told it to chill out, twice. It apologized and quickly + ramped up the disrespect so I quit the conversation as I was getting + pissed off. Then again, what would you expect from a model that + threatened to blackmail Anthropic engineers[1] if it got replaced? + + Anyhoo, the gist of the conversation resulted in a valid question: + “why do you keep creating new products instead of charging for what + you’ve already built?” If I really want to work for myself, I gotta + stop doing side quests. Naturally, I looked at everything I’ve worked + on over the years and the only product that I _actually had customers + for_ was the one I quit last year[2] (for good reason). At least I’m + doing better? I had a manager tell me a decade ago that “perfect is + the enemy of good.” Bless that man for trying to tell me what I’m + just now understanding, thanks Howie! My head’s a bit thick. + + This issue of perfection isn’t limited to just programming. Any sort + of creative venture for me suffers. If you’ve seen something from me, + best believe I’ve been ideating on it for at least a year, often + three or more. It’s strange, in a world where we’re inundated with + fast fashion, “move fast and break things,” and security fail after + security fail. Who gives a shit about doing things “the right way” + when everyone has short attention spans and don’t care about what + you’re selling in the first place? I’m from the era where things were + built to outlast human lifespans, quality tools from your father’s + father holding up in the modern age. Every week I exercise with steel + (or iron, idk, they’re rusty though) dumbbells I stole from my dad at + some point decades ago. I also have a 4‑in‑1 yellow screwdriver of + his from a company that no longer exists. + + I project my wishes for and appreciation of top‑notch quality onto + others, which paralyzes me from releasing things into the world. + Nevermind the fact that I have the capability of updating things + after launch…like, duh. To quote a comment I saw on Hacker News[3] + earlier this week (emphasis mine): + + > The old web isn’t a platform, an aesthetic, or a technology. **The + > old web is people creating and sharing because they are + > intrinsically motivated.** Everything we hate about the current web + > comes from extrinsic motivations. Good luck removing them. + + I kept coming back to this post and decided to share it on + Mastodon[4] which is ironically going viral (which itself is one of + those extrinsic motivators that probably led to Mastodon’s creation + in the first place). I emailed the author of that comment and he + doesn’t have social media at ALL, but he’s said that his blog[5] will + have more thoughts on the matter at some point. + + My perfectionism didn’t exist in the old web; I was creating and + sharing on a near‑daily basis. My homepage was redesigned every few + months, as I found a better theme or figured out how to achieve a + layout of feature I saw somewhere else. What happened? The burden of + knowledge, most likely. So what’s the point of all these + self‑initiated projects? Off the top of my head: + + - figuring out things that seem impossible bring me joy + - designing an existing thing in a new, intuitive or novel way + is exciting + - the satisfaction of pixel‑perfect tools is too great to ignore + + I could go on. I used to have this goal of being mentioned in the + same breath as Vint Cerf and Sir Tim Berners‑Lee and an additional + goal of just building great things for the world…these goals sound + great but are lofty. I don’t know these people and I likely don’t + know you, dear reader; I know myself though. And I know that my + ikigai, my reason for being, is to build things for the 20‑year + younger me. The 30‑year younger me. The kid who was told, “you can do + anything you put your mind to” and was foolish enough to believe + this. It’s easy for me to complain about the economy and the job + market but looking at myself objectively, I’m getting in my own way. + I hope that by narrowing the scope of my intentions, I can actually + **do** what I set out to do. + + TL;DR: Focus is important, in all things. + + 🕸️ + + P.S.: I recently shared on Mastodon my intent to create a Github + competitor, had a proof of concept[6], mentioned my fork of + isomorphic-git that’s now Deno‑native, and so on…meanwhile, my other + project Nickel[7], hadn’t been updated in weeks. I’m excited for EOL + but I need to focus on Nickel and get that fully operational before + taking on a new quest. + +References + + [1] <https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cpqeng9d20go> + [2] <https://archive.is/vpZCG> + [3] <https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45372654> + [4] <https://social.coop/@netopwibby/115267349445760554> + [5] <https://apreche.space/blog/> + [6] <https://social.coop/@netopwibby/115047561610176868> + [7] <https://nickel.video/_K5c929kI73k> |