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+Document: WM-053                                                 P. Webb
+Category: Life                                                2022.04.24
+
+                    Things I learned from my parents
+
+Abstract
+
+   It's not all bad
+
+Body
+
+   When you're a kid, the people you look up to tend to be your own
+   parent(s)/legal guardian(s). The older you get, the more you realize
+   your parents and other adults are very much floundering, trying to
+   figure things out. As your own life experiences grow, you may look
+   back on your childhood with resentment and wonder if your parents
+   were intentional in their harm, or oblivious. I've spent far too much
+   time dwelling on the past and keeping grudges. An unfortunate truth
+   that's gotten me past that is realizing my parents most likely do not
+   remember how their actions and/or words affected me. While I'm
+   simmering over events that transpired a decade or more prior, they're
+   living their lives — watching TV, doing laundry, figuring out what to
+   eat, &c.
+
+   I know now I was willingly engaging in mental self-harm.
+
+   Yesterday, I had a bit of back-and-forth with my father about
+   COVID-19 in the family group chat. Mask mandates, vaccine
+   effectiveness, "narratives," "COVID fear messaging and marketing,"
+   the works. Needless to say, the conversation devolved into petty
+   remarks so I stopped responding (ironically, my father stated he
+   wanted respect for his views while gaslighting me for mine, but
+   I digress).
+
+   I won't lie, the conversation bothered me. It feels like I lost my
+   father to Fox News and conspiracy websites with dubious sources, one
+   of which he presented as wholly factual and apparent proof of
+   my idiocy.
+
+   My relationship with my parents have not been the best but in recent
+   years I've been trying to work through my issues with being close to
+   them for the reasons mentioned at the top of this post. But uh,
+   wow…it was relatively easy to slide back into those negative thoughts
+   I used to have. Too easy.
+
+   I awoke today, refreshed and, thinking about how I used to see my
+   parents when I was a young kid. After all, I **am** a product of
+   their teachings, intentional and otherwise.
+
+   What I learned from my father:
+
+   - It takes two people to argue (the irony is not lost on me).
+   - Ensure doors and windows are closed and locked before heading
+     to bed.
+   - There are no new problems in the world. If you have a problem,
+     someone's written a book about it.
+   - Look someone in the eye when shaking their hand.
+   - If you have something to say, be clear. Say it with your chest.
+   - Hard work and dedication is how you get things done.
+   - Being responsible is the single best trait you can have.
+   - Games are good.
+
+   What I learned from my mother:
+
+   - Don't ever let someone tell you you can't do something.
+   - To say "I'm sorry" is to say, "I'm a sorry person." "I apologize,"
+     is better.
+   - Art is good.
+   - Techno is good.
+   - Be yourself.
+
+   What I learned from both my parents:
+
+   - Parenting doesn't end just because a marriage does.
+   - No one escapes consequences.
+   - Every person in the world is trying their best with the cards
+     they're dealt.
+   - Racism sucks, is stupid, and definitely doesn't make sense.
+     Especially since Black people built this country (America).
+   - I can do anything I put my mind to.
+   - The truth shall set you free.
+
+   We are all shaped by the experiences life either politely sends or
+   violently throws our way. Much of the sadness we feel when thinking
+   of the past is the fact that the people we miss from back then are
+   not the same people we know now. Sure, they may respond to the same
+   name, and may even have the same phone number, but we are all
+   changing, all the time.
+
+   For better or worse. 🕸