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diff --git a/memos/WM-053.txt b/memos/WM-053.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1defbe1 --- /dev/null +++ b/memos/WM-053.txt @@ -0,0 +1,97 @@ + + + + + + + +Document: WM-053 P. Webb +Category: Life 2022.04.24 + + Things I learned from my parents + +Abstract + + It's not all bad + +Body + + When you're a kid, the people you look up to tend to be your own + parent(s)/legal guardian(s). The older you get, the more you realize + your parents and other adults are very much floundering, trying to + figure things out. As your own life experiences grow, you may look + back on your childhood with resentment and wonder if your parents + were intentional in their harm, or oblivious. I've spent far too much + time dwelling on the past and keeping grudges. An unfortunate truth + that's gotten me past that is realizing my parents most likely do not + remember how their actions and/or words affected me. While I'm + simmering over events that transpired a decade or more prior, they're + living their lives — watching TV, doing laundry, figuring out what to + eat, &c. + + I know now I was willingly engaging in mental self-harm. + + Yesterday, I had a bit of back-and-forth with my father about + COVID-19 in the family group chat. Mask mandates, vaccine + effectiveness, "narratives," "COVID fear messaging and marketing," + the works. Needless to say, the conversation devolved into petty + remarks so I stopped responding (ironically, my father stated he + wanted respect for his views while gaslighting me for mine, but + I digress). + + I won't lie, the conversation bothered me. It feels like I lost my + father to Fox News and conspiracy websites with dubious sources, one + of which he presented as wholly factual and apparent proof of + my idiocy. + + My relationship with my parents have not been the best but in recent + years I've been trying to work through my issues with being close to + them for the reasons mentioned at the top of this post. But uh, + wow…it was relatively easy to slide back into those negative thoughts + I used to have. Too easy. + + I awoke today, refreshed and, thinking about how I used to see my + parents when I was a young kid. After all, I **am** a product of + their teachings, intentional and otherwise. + + What I learned from my father: + + - It takes two people to argue (the irony is not lost on me). + - Ensure doors and windows are closed and locked before heading + to bed. + - There are no new problems in the world. If you have a problem, + someone's written a book about it. + - Look someone in the eye when shaking their hand. + - If you have something to say, be clear. Say it with your chest. + - Hard work and dedication is how you get things done. + - Being responsible is the single best trait you can have. + - Games are good. + + What I learned from my mother: + + - Don't ever let someone tell you you can't do something. + - To say "I'm sorry" is to say, "I'm a sorry person." "I apologize," + is better. + - Art is good. + - Techno is good. + - Be yourself. + + What I learned from both my parents: + + - Parenting doesn't end just because a marriage does. + - No one escapes consequences. + - Every person in the world is trying their best with the cards + they're dealt. + - Racism sucks, is stupid, and definitely doesn't make sense. + Especially since Black people built this country (America). + - I can do anything I put my mind to. + - The truth shall set you free. + + We are all shaped by the experiences life either politely sends or + violently throws our way. Much of the sadness we feel when thinking + of the past is the fact that the people we miss from back then are + not the same people we know now. Sure, they may respond to the same + name, and may even have the same phone number, but we are all + changing, all the time. + + For better or worse. 🕸 |